My Blog, Separation Abuse, Tactics of a Domestic Abuser

Why I will always HOLD SPACE for my controlling ex! For mine, his and our children’s sake!

for someone isn’t easy , in fact it’s an on going test of my character but it’s a better choice for me than turning bitter and twisted and I’m adamant my nature will not become poisened by my past. My ex’s behaiver towards myself and my children cannot be excused but for their sake and my own unique healing journey from we need to let go and move on. Even if that means he is still in his anger and for years to come and he is still being and trying to control us there is absolutely nothing I can do or say about it that will the situation or him but we can still move on and heal by holding space.

So what is holding space and how will it help?

This is a tricky one for the “empaths” out there. We must make our own rule and our own emotions as still as a statue, because we do not have emotional control over how another chooses to respond. It’s frankly not our f**king business. But once we truly remember this concept and start to use it, then we are from a place of and for our own and others we need to protect.

First self care needs to be our focus. We need to concentrate on our own life on our terms then that’s when the positive changes will just happen. Take time on a daily basis just for you. Being “” is totally fine so that you have more to give to your loved ones around you such as your children. I used to struggle with being selfish but it’s a must.

Chill for a moment and think of the person that’s on a different path to you, holds different beliefs, is someone you have to forgive, is a person that refuses to get themselves help and SEND THEM . Imagine that person surrounded in warm white light and hold space for them to live a life free from distress and pain. See them feeling joyful, safe, secure, prosperous and happy. I know it sounds hard and it is especially after this person has abused you but for me this helps.

And lastly Thank this person for teaching you , for teaching you humility, unconditional love and for teaching you forgiveness.

Carry on giving time for yourself each day to focus on your goals, dreams, wishes and desires and fulfil every minute you have. Enjoy every bite of food and every blow of wind felt on your face.


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