Beauty & Lifestyle, My Blog

My 6 year old describes her natural mixed race hair as a Fluffy Chocolate Cloud that she loves!

My baby girl has the most and Iv wanted her to feel that way herself about it from the day she was born, so after hearing her say ” My Hair is Like a Big and I love It” after looking in the mirror the other morning I was made up. She looked in the mirror as I combed her morning hair which after a few days of not being washed can resemble exactly that a BROWN FLUFFY CLOUD this is her hairs natural left state and at 6 she is really embracing her natural and its amazing.

My daughter is and the world of hair is very new to me as growing up with straight blonde hair all I wanted was for my hair to be like that as to me I saw it as beautiful but as Iv grown older and noticed that many of my friends with this type of hair were always trying to hide it straighten it relax it and basically disguise it. I was totally ignorant to societies bullshit image of what beauty is supposed to be because I fit in that so-called bullshit box I was ignorant. With blonde hair and green eyes and white skin Id never been made to feel like my natural wasn’t quite right, but for women of color they have had a lot of negative reinforcement about their natural and for this reason its inevitable that over time it takes a bashing of self- and they have ended up seeing their natural hair skin color even eye color as a negative thing. I don’t want my daughter to feel like this but because of society I knew that I wasn’t going to be able to hide her from it for ever so I started on day one the day she was born.
Children with mixed race hair are often told their hair is nice and complimented on it by well wishing strangers but it just does not always sit right with me, Iv even felt myself sometimes feeling that people are judging me for letting my daughter her hair, with snide comments more so by adult women with similar hair.

But they are wrong, that’s their issue and I’m going to stand up and call bullshit and action change.

Iv got the straightest and blondest hair with green eyes I’m the absolute opposite pigment wise to my daughter. LOOKS and physique wise we are very similar but iv been very conscious that I didn’t want her wishing she had my hair or eye color which society deem “acceptable” in their bullshit beauty standard ideals, I wanted her to truly feel happy with her own hair skin and body . And I realistically nourished her self-esteem and used our differences to embrace them together to ensure it was a genuine love of herself she has and not just a cherry popped on a turd pretending we love ourselves as that will show through to our children and the insecurity will be passed onto them if we don’t deal with our own issues.

The way Iv done it is by letting her express exactly how she feels about herself and when she has said things about herself as shes got older and started to notice the differences they have sometimes made my heart break inside. But Iv acknowledged that’s how she feels at that moment in time. Iv not invalidated her by telling her she is wrong and she has always changed her mind on her own accord strengthening her self esteem and promoting positive images of herself by herself, not forced onto her by me.

I also express that its not all about looks. And that being a happy kind clean positive person about our self can radiate more beauty than any of society’s ideals and that being true to who you are is the best thing that we can do for ourselves and I action it with my own character for her.

I have these amazing books Iv read to both my children throughout their lives they are pop up books. I mean come on who doesn’t love a pop up.

And Iv recently come across a lady on Instagram that has written a book called Jamie loves her natural hair Jamie is in the US but we can still purchase the lovely book from amazon for the UK. Jamie is a school age girl who realizes that her hair is very different from her peers and what she sees in media leaving her to feel like somewhat of an outsider. However, she comes to accept her voluminous and appreciate her hair’s beautifully unique qualities, leaving her with an overall better sense of self.

Iv ordered this book and I’ll be reading it with my daughter and I will continue to promote her natural self consistently.

Below is a list of the books that have helped me build my children’s self-esteem and promote a healthy self image and tolerance of people around them.

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