When your in love with someone who is abusive, you can often wonder how it happened or how you even ended up in a relationship like that in the first place but its pretty simple really, you fell in love with the person they made themselves out to be when you first met them as no one would fall in love with someone that’s nasty to them on the first few dates. This is what we call love bombing a smoke screen, literally love bombed blinded with trickery and pow! they say everything you want to hear and portray an act of Prince charming a kind lovable fun happy go lucky person, listening to what you want then acting like that person to get you to drop your guard. When the mask starts to slip and they expose a little glimpse of the person they really are the one they have been hiding for months trying to hook you in. Its too late and by the time it slips off fully you are usually already in love have children married and totally unaware you’re actually in love with a fraud, a person who didn’t exist does not exist and never will exist.
You will spend most of your days wandering what happened or dreaming about how it could be if they didn’t treat you so bad and where it all went wrong, you will carry on trying to get the person back the person you met the person who does not exist you will carry on trying to please them until you loose yourself and they become the centre of your life. You are in love with a person you made up in your head and until you figure that out you will never be able to heal. These types of people do not change and what you are going through is abuse its emotional abuse and the only thing you can do is leave and never look back.